What I help with

Help with anger for men

Maybe it flares up before you've had a chance to think. Maybe it comes out at the people closest to you, or you hold it in until it spills over. Afterwards there's often regret, and sometimes shame, and you wonder why it keeps happening.

When anger is costing you

• Losing your temper over things that seem small afterwards
• Saying or doing things you regret, then feeling ashamed
• People around you walking on eggshells
• Feeling wound up or on edge most of the time
• Wanting to change it, but not knowing where to start

What's often underneath

Anger is rarely the whole story. It often protects something more vulnerable, like hurt, fear of being let down, or feeling like you're not good enough. Sometimes it's learned. Growing up around an angry parent or caregiver can teach you that anger is how you deal with things. For some men it's built up from years of stress. For others it's tied to not feeling sure who they are, or to problems in their relationships.

The anger cycle

Anger often follows the same pattern. Something sets it off, the pressure builds, it comes out, and afterwards comes the regret or shame, which leaves you more wound up next time. Most men only notice it at the blow-up. In therapy we slow the cycle down so you can spot it at the build-up stage, while there's still a choice about what happens next.

How I can help

We won't just look at how to manage your anger. We'll look at what it's protecting, and work on noticing it earlier, before it costs you something you care about. There's no judgement here. Anger is a normal human emotion, and understanding it is usually what makes it easier to live with.

If you're ready to understand your anger, a free 20-minute call is a good place to start.